Hi, I do not know your sitch but just want to add an opinion on the "If I don't do it, who will" part. I used to feel the same way. I am definitely not a "controlling" person, my H is. But I take charge of the kids. But during all these, I have learnt to let go. When H takes care of the kids, instead of "here's the schedule for meal time, what to eat, what to play, when to play, how much TV, what games to play, when to do homework, etc." I just say "Please make sure they finish their homework". So what if they watch TV for half a day and do not complete the homework? Well, it's only one day. I only do the most important things now. Anything regarding H, I leave it alone. If he forgets to do something for himself, I no longer remind him. It is now his responsibility. So sometimes we have to turn around and get (whatever) and we will be late. But that's OK.
I was also flipping through DB book. One thing is, go SLOW. Apparently WAS is lots slower than us. May be your H feels overwhelmed by the counselor on his/her sugggestions and got defensive. take care
