Maybe not too complicated to understand

[Michael Mc C]

Okay folks, it's confession time... I've been focusing WAAAAY too much on what my wife has been doing and too much on reading about what I should be doing. I haven't been doing enough for me.

I realized this morning that I've gotten trapped in the pitfall of learning all about A's and R's and what GAL means. I have spent months thinking that I'm working on me but really all I've done is take very small steps for me.

I thought I was detaching, I wasn't.
I thought I was getting a life, I wasn't.
I thought I was busting a divorce, I wasn't.

All I'm doing is reading and complaining and wishing. I'm reorganizing my priorities and making goals for myself. I have wasted a couple of months so far and don't want to do that anymore. Maybe not a complete waste mind you, but I have been modifying my interactions with W, not modifying my life to make for a happier me.

I believe that OM coming back into the picture when he did could be a saving grace - in an odd sort of way. I was getting sucked back in so easily and hadn't improved myself enough to really make any of my changes long lasting. Granted, this time she's talking about how he is the one she wants to spend the rest of her life with but this gives me the opportunity to truly detach, truly get a life and prepare myself for moving on, if that's what the future holds.

Okay, confession over. Thanks!!