Update: I want to Salavage my Marriage

[PhD_ChrisD]

Hi IAC, All,

Well, things are not bad like they were. I think I am more optimistic every day. W always tells me she loves me, that I am a good dad, even texts me all the time. She says she misses me and our "closeness" a great deal. We are going to MC and that is helping. I am cautiously optimisitic that things are working out.

Having said all that, I do have some concerns. W told me she was going to Starbucks for a little while last night in order to get out of the house for a couple of hours. Instead, she came home drunk at 2AM and told me she went to a bar. She also texts a lot of people and takes great pains to hide her communications from me. I think that engenders suspicion and some anger on my part (which is a bad thing - snooping, mistrust, etc. - not the DB way I know).

Hey, I am trying to be zen-like about the drinking. I don't drink but I can understand why she does:
1) She has not had it easy with me over the years
2) SAHM with a 5 and 2 year old. Probably make the pope into a wino.
3) She is Australian and they tend to have little blood in the alcohol systems.

I don't want to be an enabler here, either. I think her drinking is a problem (she had a DUI recently and is still driving without a license and sometimes drives after drinking). I just don't know what to do and she is not at allthinking she has a problem.

For almost 7.5 years she did not touch a drop (mostly becuase I take such a dim view of drinking). Now she drinks a great deal, I suppose to make up for lost time. I am hoping that she just tires of it and out grows it.

So that is my sitch in a nut-shell. Thanks for checking on me, IAC! I do very much appreciate the tribal elder's wisdom. Best o'luck with H2B.

Best,
--Chris