Calling All Cats :)

[LoginName]

Cat! That is so great. Good realization. You are right. And think about him now, depression, ADHD, still for some reason staying. He is trying.

You both had a hand in where you are now. I keep reminding myself of my role in my mess - too keep me humble, and to keep my W from giving up. Like you, my W worked for years to fix and carry our M/R. My year + is just a drop in the bucket.

Don't be too hard on yourself though. Just accept what you are responsible for. And then don't be too hard on him for his role in all this.

These realizations are powerful, but if you're like me, the feeling will wear off and you'll slip back to where you were. Remember this feeling and call it up then.

And, I think this is not just a great realization about your R/M, but also about you and who you are. It will make you a better, healthier person.

But you knew, and know all that. Just sharing your successes as best I can.

Yay, Cat!

[cat03]

thanks LN, for your words. Its like reaching a new plateou in my way up the everest, I'm begining to see this will be a long uphill battle, but I'm not killing myself anymore nor fretting about it...for now. Yes, we forget what we learn so often and we go back to unproductive behaviour, :P so I have to come back in a few weeks and re read what I've just typed.

We couldn't have our MC session due to H's job (unexpected tasks), oh well, will try next week, still hoping for a good MC.

Glad to see you again LN, hope things are developing in a positive direction)))))

[Evie]

Hi Cat,

Catching up on your post. Sorry you are struggling, I have no advice to offer but you to know I stopped by and am praying for you.

My A is on Wed. When is yours? Enjoy your date for what it is.

X Eve

[peaceful_spirit]

Cat,
That's why piecing is SO hard. Obviously, we got to this point in our M for a reason. It's because we and our spouses fell into destructive patterns of behaviors. And as we piece, it's a lot of work for both parties to realize what they need to change and actually change them. It is very easy to fall into old behavior patterns. But with each level of realization, you are moving forward.

This is progress. You are moving forward. Keep up the good work!

[LoginName]

Hi Cat,
Maybe you're sitch will work out like mine, and just as you really settling in for a long, uphill, battle, your H will suddenly flip a switch and surprise you. I hope so anyway. Although, slow and steady may be better in the long run (I'm still a little wary of my W's sudden change. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth though, right?).

Your H's depressin and ADHD certainly make things harder. I wish I knew more about those conditions and could understand better. I suspect that the basics for all of us are still the same, and good DBing is still appropriate. I'm convinced that GAL and taking care of ourselves is essential, but what else, I don't know.

As PS says, it is progress. One step back, two forward is still progress.

rooting for you!

[cat03]

thanks sweets, all of you
Feeling much much better, don't resent him being downstairs (ok, 98% lol, that's somethign though!) he asked me again about a MC, I'm trying to locate one, I'm glad he is intersted still, glad he tries always to be accountable of where he is and where he's going.
Funny, I've feel better, and I get now and attacked by those gremlings, with bits about ow and A crap, HA, I know negative forces are trying to bring me down, no way, not this time. I try to remind myself that I'm not alone, that i have an inmovable force, God, that is on my side.

Yea, I will feel bad here and there, but you know what? the new positive paths I've created in my head channel those neg thoughts right out of me, I start thinking of something else and don't wallow on those thoughts as I would've long ago.
PMA, it truly pays off!

My anniversary is tomorrow, we are both exhited to see Spamalot, he he, I wanted to go dancign and had a sexy outfit, now sure what I'll wear to the theater though, dont' want to look like a skank

[Aud31]

\o/\o/\o/

You sound *fabulous* Cat! Just keep stomping those ANTS! And have a lovely anniversary.

[LoginName]

Hey! We went to Spamalot for our anniversary this year too! What a coincidence (did I spell that right?). I had my hopes up then, and my W and I did share some nice momoments, but I think my expecations were too high and I had to fight negative feelings. But, it worked out and we had a very nice time (no ILY's, but a nice hug and lots of caring).

Have a great time.

[cat03]

great mind think alike LN,

Ok, I got my expectations on 0, just want to have a good time and enjoy, I will hug him and kiss him and I know he'll hug and kiss me back, even if it is a short kiss I will be content with that, I'm pretty sure that's as much action as I will get, oh well, there is always our next anniversary

thanks Aud, stupid weather won't cooperate either, lol, by backless top won't shield me from the cold weather, but I'm still wearing the skirt with the high slit, he he.

[cat03]

had a good time, i looked nice, wasn't too happy w/H's last minute get up but, hey, we were celebrating our anniversary and that in itself was great, we lol lots, loved the played, he gave me a gift and a single white rose, I had something for him. He had to work early next day so we decided he'd go sleep over at my brother's, we both knew nothing was going to happen, and maybe it was for the better, just in case I held on to a tiny hope he'd come upstairs...oh well, maybe next anniversary :P
Still looking for a C, no Imago C sadly, but I found some Cs and placed some calls, H's schedule gives us little room but we'll make it happen God willing.

Not much to report other than that, just trudging along, reminding myself to wait as much as my H waited for me all those years, praying that he finds himself and hope he nails donw whatever is ailing him. As usual, my bible quarterly this week was right on the dot, it was about patience.