I'm going to call him out on every sigh, every eye-roll, every needless spiteful remark. There was a time when I reacted to them with bewilderment and hurt and tried to do better, then there was a long time when I just ignored them, now I'm not going to let a single one pass without saying. "What was that for?" and then when he evades "how some emotional honest here?" And if I don't get it then we're done.
When I call bf on this stuff (which he does A LOT) I usually gat an even bigger blast that makes it my fault, I provoked him, what's the matter with me, it's never enough, what he does isn't good enough, what am I getting at, just STOP, why do I go on and one, etc., etc. These convos NEVER come out well. A few times, he has called me later to apologize for being a butthead, but those times are few and far between.
I've been posting on the soberrecovery board and people have told me that if someone is a @$$hole when they're drunk, sometimes after they get into recovery, it turns out they're @$$holes sober, too.
