I understand that too. I noticed recently that my H says "I love you" with equal emotion to all members of our extended family. The "I love you" reserved for me is no different than anyone elses and the "with love" on emails is also the same. I got a birthday card that was kind of "lecture" from the good people from hallmark - something about how love is not measured in flowers, candle light etc...but rather in the simple daily things, blah, blah, blah. So....if I were to quantify the "dailiness" in our lives it means that love is measured in sitting on separate couches to watch tv, conversing about our budget, next parent/teacher meeting etc..., sleeping side by side and not touching, me scrubbing toilets, him changing oil and flinging an occasional ILY in each others general direction. I suppose I'm "loved" a lot then.
For H, ILY means "you are a member of my group/herd/club/family".
