Great that you had dinner with H. Other than the few awkward silences how did it go? Did you offer that he could stay at your house while in town?
Try not to expect too much from the look in his eyes, it could be from guilt from what he's put you through, although I hope I'm wrong. I'm glad you accepted his gifts, shows he thinks of you at times you're not there.
Hindsight is both a curse and a blessing. It's a blessing when you realize early enough to make a change before it's too late, a curse when the dust settles and then you see clearly things you could have done differently. In my case I had both. I saw our R starting to go back where it was and started going shopping with W, holding her hand, helping with dinner. What I saw too late was things I could done because of her sleeping, could have installed a TV in the bedroom, when she got tired we could have gone to BR her to sleep me to watch TV and lay with her. She was usually asleep by 7 to 8 PM after sleeping after she got home from work At 2PM until dinner time.
One of the things I told her was I would quit reffing if she came back. Told her I would want her to get a Mon thru Fri job, normal hours, one weekend we'd go somewhere, another city, bed and breakfast to veg out and spend the weekend together, so I'd give it up. I don't want anything to get between us. I think she has some resentment about soccer things because I used to coach 2 kids teams and ref with S's, spent a lot of time away from her.
yes W's job has been problem. She works in a deli for wmart. She starts at 4AM, get up at 3Am to get ready for work. No weekends off so we can't do anything on weekends thats fun, go to S's house for bonfire, go to friends house, go out dancing or just go to visit some place out of town. When D19 was 15 she was in modeling we had to take her to Cleveland, OH for classes and photo shoots every other weekend. She never went because she had to work.
As far as the change in my job goes, I'd rather have my outroute, took care of elevators and escalators on western side of Cincinnati. All by myself all day. Now they want me to have a downtown route and be the troublshooter to fix what others have problems with. We have guys getting extra pay, but not me. Supt said we got C who's good on new S equip, J who's good on old W equip, S who's good on O equip and you who's good on everything else. Guess who the only one not getting anything extra?
I don't know about still friends with W. sometimes she treats me like she hates my guts. I only see small glimpses of her caring at all. She wants the D as fast as she can get it. Told a friend she's upset because I don't want a D. I think our problems revolve around her job and both of us not communicating how we feel about things, holding stuff in and withdrawing. If gien the chance I see where we can make our M better than it has ever been, but she doesn't want to try. I guess I'll have to go along with D and keep DBing.
I like most wines but I like he reds more. We found a white merlot that was pretty good.
Mike
M 51 W 49 S26 S25 D24 D19 Married 27 yrs T over 30 S 7/12 D-bomb 9/26
