backsliding

[cat03]

so sorry to hear your backslinding, sounds like she still had issues, is that why you pushed C? I'll for counceling, but if she wasn't ready for it it's wise not to push it again (I had to give up a great MC because my H wants another one, fine, so he'd feel more comfortable).

Sounds like her beeing off prozac affected her big time, I hope that the meds do their job and help her feel better about herlself.

She can tell My insecurities and fear and that is just making everything worse. ..I'll admit I'm a bit impatient. I want results and I want them now. Hah....

I totally hear you, I also was like that before, checkign pockets and stuff, I stopped doing that altogether, my H has been trying to be accountable and is good at calling me and letting me know where he is, I realized it was a malady I had to cut from the bud, snooping is very toxic.
For more "I want results now" check my thread, I've also pulled my hear and cried for the way my M has been after I found out about my H's 2nd A with same woman.

I used to push the "feelings will follow actions" on my H, since he always claims he just feels this gap between us and just couldn't force feelings for me. I know, it is very hurtful not to feel loved, but you must learn to let go of the rope, she must come around of her own accord, pressure wont' make her love you any faster.
It's taken me months of agony to understand this (i'm not fire proof but I'm in a better place) I will only take what my H can give, and will remember the damage I did to my M and understand my H feels scared to trust again and not ready to open up.

Because you love her so much you must let her off the hook, if you are about to snoop or be pushy about her being loving to you, ask yourself "is this making things better or worse?", most times, the answer will be "worse". BTDT.
She doesn't feel you trust her, thus she doesn't feel like letting you be intimate with her, being intimate is opening your most vulnerable areas of yourself to the other person.

Be her safe place, try to be her safe place, fear is your worst enemy. I've made my peace with the A crap, if my H happens to be seeing ow again who's the looser? him, for being a liar, he will loose his family, I will be left with the knowledge that I did my best and years from now I'll look back and have no regrets that I gave it my all.