Well, I took today off work as my back is still hurting pretty badly. It's better but not good. Called H and asked him to lift D2. Got the EWD (exorcism worthy demon) with crazy eyes. Came by and criticized me w/D2 and begrudgingly drove her off to day care.
Basically told me I was nasty because here he was, helping me but I wouldn't let him in house to watch D2.
H still seems to think of himself not as D2's father but as my babysitter.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
I was going to say--I did not respond to H but I did cry in the bathroom. I'm sure he knew. This wasn't what I would have wanted for a 180 but I am just feeling lousy today because of my back.
He wasn't very helpful getting D2 dressed and ready to go and it's times like this that I wonder why I want such a person in my life.
I don't understand why OW gets all this sympathy and an investment in her well-being but for me and D2, everything is a burden and bother and problem.
More and more I wonder about the person I see and start to recognize that I definitely do not want that person back. I need the new improved version--and that person needs to be substantially changed, not superficially.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
Well, H wouldn't go to D2's Christmas program. I applauded extra hard for D2 and she got a doll from Santa.
Got into a rather strange philosophical discussion w/H--which was unfortunately more argumentative than I would've liked. But it didn't end on that bad of a note.
Was watching movie when H came over tonight. I gave him dinner again. Truth--I am a little concerned about his diet. He has gained weight, his hair is shaggy and his dr. appointment results point to effects of bad diet.
We talked about movie a little bit. I have started to laugh at H's pessimism.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
H and I had an argument today (well, he tried to make it into more of an argument than I wanted it to be). Mentioned D again and said that half the house is his, he was going to go for it, etc.. I said OK, let me know.
H is still angry that I will not let him back in here to watch D2 instead of at his apartment. Left here angry.
This evening H was fairly nice again.
DB C suggests that when H comes over, I stop hanging around them and start doing things for myself. I am working towards friendship w/H (stage 2 in reconciliation) but we still see each other too much. Need to be in a position where I am not so continually disappointed/resentful. If H gives me a bit of a break I can be less angry.
So instead of doing housework when H is over, I am going to do something relaxing instead.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
Hi Breton, Thanks for your post on my thread the other day. Unfortunaely, my H does not want to see anybody but work it out himself.
I was in the same sitch as you are now. H was really nasty to me for ages, and sometimes he still is. But it is getting better all the time. The MLCer must work through his anger first, before it can get better. It seems that getting to the Acceptance stage is very hard.
Yes, try not to be there when H is with your D2.
I wish you merry Christmas and a happier 2008. Take care.
