I drafted the following email. Only a draft -- comments?

Oh, babe, I am so sorry. What the hell was I thinking? Obviously I wasn't. It just came out. I honestly don't dwell on the past all the time. I don't know why I brought that up when you are coming home and I just want us to be happy. I feel absolutely sick to my stomach and I can't quit crying now. I'm so afraid that you are going to tell me you don't want to be w/ me anymore if I can't just let go of the past. I honestly have, babe. I don't mistrust you at all - I know that you love me and want us to be together. Maybe it's just that it's coming up on a year and there have been so many reminders lately. I put on my winter coat yesterday and pulled out a card from the counselor we went to. When I think of Cade's bday party, I remember that you were just waiting for his bday party to be over last year before you finally told me you wanted a divorce. And maybe, honestly, I'm still so scared that you are going to change your mind again.

Me: 38
H: 35
S4, S5, S10
Bomb 01/07
Wanted D - nothing would change his mind
Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb
Piecing 04/07
Deployed for a year 05/07
Still Piecing 2010
M 11 yrs 05/10