Jak, This is a relational pattern that's going to need to change if your M is going to survive. It sounds like the "ball is in your court." He's holding onto old patterns, and your reluctance to create conflict keeps the cycle going.
It would be easier on you if he faced his issues and worked on conflict management, but that's not happening. We change because we have to--the negatives become too high a cost.
Your anger episode with him is a sign of things to come. I think he's going to have to see that you're seriously moving on with your life to scare him into working on his issues. In a sense that's what you're doing now emotionally, but you're trying to contain it.
Your M needs "a perfect storm." I think once he gets frightened into facing and working on his issues, than your M will move forward. Like me, he has to learn that facing and wrestling with conflict reaps greater rewards than avoidance.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
