Time for honesty & truth for a new beginning

[phbear316]

Jeanette

I felt i was draining you mentally with alll my burdens. I know that alone can be draining, then compound what you have been going thru i felt i had a hand in it.

Thursday will now depend on two things, how i feel for #1, i cannot believe how this cold is kicking my butt! OMG i woke up this am feeling like could someone please get the tractor trailor off my chest. I'm also very tired, i did not get much sleep last night due to coughing, and h did now get his butt home till almost 2am. So me like a jerk, let him talk to me when he wanted to tell me about the mgt. I did try to go to sleep earlier, but could not. Also even if i went to sleep garage door would wake me up, bedroom right over garage. The second thing is the weather, they say we are supposed to get a storm tomorrow with about gosh is don't want to say it about 3-6 inches of ACK ***SNOW*** UGH. It is supposed to start in the am tomorrow and snow and sleet all day into friday. Then again more snow on sunday.

Anyway, it was my pleasure to drop into you world over there, tough is good. I'm trying not to let him take away my caring and kindness. I wish i could see what you see that we have a chance as you say. I will when i am ready look into the accounts.

Ah, the january thing, still have not convinced myself to go. Why, i have this feeling that he is going to do something like move me out while i am gone. Move my stuff to the basement, etc. Why do i think this, my name is on the mortgage just like his, but its fear, pure fear. Why my mind is doing this I wish i knew.

Did i tell you i sent bil & sil and mil gifts for xmas. They are still my family, why should they suffer his ill will. I cannot believe that he is going to go shopping for them when he gets to fla. He never knows what to buy its always me getting gifts. Have to get niece and nephew gift cards and get them in the mail on friday.

Still have to shop for parents, no clue what so ever to buy them. have like one gift each so far. UGH!

HUGS
bear