My heart goes out to you B50. My W had a physical affair with my "best friend" (not). I found out because the OM's wife told me.
It is devastating to have the two people you are closest with do this. All the duplicity. He was at my house while this was going on. In my own d@mn bed. Right under my nose.
On the ending all contact - what feels right to you? I stated that as a clear boundary, repeatedly. She repeatedly promised to stop. "It's over." And she repeatedly broke the promise. over and over. And she lied and accused me, to cover it up.
Aliens! They're aliens!
M 43 S14 S13 D11 D7 Divorce final: Jan 2009 Making it up as I go....