Next time he brings up whether or not you will fight for your share of the money, tell him exactly what you said above, "if he destroys my family, he is not going to make me be broke also!"
He needs to hear it.
I did not hesitate to tell my husband that he would leave with only half his income. (I'm not really Southern, you know). It's not romantic, but it's what made him stay. Once that decision had been made it was much easier to decide to learn to get along with each other.
