I sent you an email. It would be interesting to do a study and find out how many of the WAWs are blonde, brunette, etc. Maybe one hair color is more prone to affairs. The question has long been: Is it true blondes have more fun?
I have so many thoughts going through my head right now. I think the time has to decide what I want.
I had a flat tire tonight and had to have H change it for me. We talked for a couple of hours. Nothing really about our relationship at first, but still things of significance.
About an hour after being together talking H brought up that we needed to decide what we want to do concerning the divorce. Keep in mind there was no cross words, yelling or crying during this conversation.
M - You know what I want to do, I want to work on our marriage. I said you need to decide what you want to do. H - I think about it everyday. I sway back and forth. M- I've loved you since the beginning and I still love you. I want to grow old with you. I want to be with you when our girls marry. When we have grandchildren, I want to enjoy them together. H - (Laughing) I don't know if our girls will ever get married. No one will be able to afford youngest DD. M - That is true. H - When is the last time you talked to OW's H and "friend"? (I had called an ex bf to try to get OW's H's number because they lived in same town. The ex bf told one of SIL's friends that I called to tell him I was getting divorced and we should go out, absolutely not true!) M - I told you it has been a while. I told you that I ignore both of their calls. H - How do you know "friend"? M - We dated in high school. That's how long it's been. I only called him to get that number because I had to find out if you were really seeing OW. The "friend" did mention something about us getting together, but I told him I was married and not interested.
Husband then started talking about how one of his friend's wife wiped him out when they got a divorce. The friend is having terrible financial and emotional problems now.
H - I'm afraid that is what you would do to me if we get a divorce.
I did not say a word to him. I guess he thought I would reassure him that I wouldn't go after his money.Let me rephrase that, "our" money. I just looked at him. Maybe I'm wrong, but if he destroys my family, he is not going to make me be broke also!
I'm beginning to wonder if all the time we have spent together the past 3 months has been a ploy to get on my good side so that I would not "take him to the cleaners".
My question to everyone is if he decides to stay together, should I take him back knowing that he will probably stay out of fear, but hoping he could fall back in love or should I just cut my losses and go on with my life?
I know everyone will say that only I can make that decision. I know that is true, but still I would like some opinions.
Last edited by Yoyowife; 12/12/0705:16 AM.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
I would say short run take him back and try. If he's an ass, divorce his ass. If he really wants to be married to you, you know you can be happy with him.
That is just like my H too. The part where you say that you want to be together when the girls get married and have children, and he makes a joke. It's not funny. The girls will get married and you will be grandparents, and he's not willing to think about it.
Next time he brings up whether or not you will fight for your share of the money, tell him exactly what you said above, "if he destroys my family, he is not going to make me be broke also!"
He needs to hear it.
I did not hesitate to tell my husband that he would leave with only half his income. (I'm not really Southern, you know). It's not romantic, but it's what made him stay. Once that decision had been made it was much easier to decide to learn to get along with each other.
((((((HUGS))))))