Thanks so much for your support. It really means a lot. I feel that I am a failure for snooping, for wanting to leave... for so many things...
Sara, Sue
Thanks!I have been talking to a MC and he said H can't comit to a real woman. He is emotionally distant. MC gave advise this is dealing with an addict, that I can only help myself. I can't help him. That hurts so bad. I would not mind my M ending if this meant he could be truly happy. I would find peace in that. I tried to approach him the best I could and yet to see someone this lost on something that should be so simple, so natural, so blessful, it's hard to rationalize.
H4C,
Thanks also! I suggested we could bring his fantasies to the M, the movies he watches are not anything extraordinary. I said I'd feel like joining him as long as I feel it's harmless. He said he can't do that. I guess you are right, he likes the unforbidden experience. He said he was not encouraged by his previous experiences to enjoy himself with no guilt.
He sent some poetry today (very, very unlike of him, but anyway, he's been doing that lately to cover his lies)that said we were perfect together and that we need to find our way back. He said himself that too during our conversation, that we are this shape that's becoming distorted and growing opposites directions.
I guess my wishful thinking now is that even if the M is lost, he could breakfree from his life restrictions that leads him to an unhealthy pattern.
But yet, I don't care as much about my M as I care for him to be happy and not sink lower into this.
