The answer was staring me in the face all the time

[MaxP]

Because I don't know how. Because I'm too rational. Because I will feel guilt. Because I don't want life to be any more complex than it needs to be. Because I'm scared of the consequences of letting go. I don't know. I know I need to deal with this though. Why is sticking up for myself and what I feel so difficult? Too many years of not doing it.

Trixi, I know that none of these are reasons not to. They are my issues. I know that I would like to. Your point is valid and I can't argue with it because I agree.