Time for honesty & truth for a new beginning

[phbear316]

Ok why are things so difficult for me to do.
My boss whom i gave the tickets to for the play sat, says are you free thurs evening? i would like you to meet Leslie and take you to see her stuff at her gallery. (artist) I say that would be nice then he says maybe we could go out to dinner. Oh god i don't want to be a third wheel. How do i get out of the dinner part. Darn it I am so mad at myself! WHY do i feel guilty about doing this. I should be able to come and go as i please just like him, I think its a respect thing. Thats it I respect him and would not do anything with out him knowing. Not that he would say i could not go. It was just me doing the right thing, letting him know i was going out. But he does not respect me, so why do i still respect him....Gosh why do i have such a thick head, and why is this so difficult for me to do. Why can't i be cold and uncaring like him, give him a bitter spoonful of medicine like he does to me. Sorry guys just need to vent.

H believe it or not has called me twice today. Second call h says oh i forgot i have a meeting tonight, so eat what you want. I said i have therapy tonight, so i would be late anyway. Then h's call waiting kicks in and he says i have to talk to this person, i will call you back, that was two hrs ago. Trust me i did not expect him to call.

Saddness and confusion today, maybe i will be thinking clearer after therapy.

SG, I know i am in for quite a suprise, I know.
bear