Just need some support.

[MaxP]

Hi,

Very brief overview of my stich.
Bomb on Easter Monday, ILYBANILWY (not sure our M is strong enough to survive moving abroad, having children, etc). Tried MC for 2 session in June / July. W doesn't want the R fixed, doesn't think about the R at all. Comes home late June an announces she's found somewhere to live (fantasizes about the 'single life' - hah!). Moves out 3 weeks later - no contact for a month. After that very little contact, all controlled by her. 1.5 months ago announces it's over, "the R doesn't feel right any more". Refuses to answer the Q about if there is anyone else, diguises her reason by saying if she's says no then I'll think there's hope. Been talking about steps to D since then.

Today I get a Christmas card addressed to her and a new man (I've been forwarding her mail). This is the first real evidence of a new relationship that I've come across. I feel devastated, angry and betrayed. I don't know how long she has been seeing him (an old University friend), but it must be a while if they're getting joint cards. I certainly recall her visiting the city where he lives more than once over the past 6 months.

Oh, been together for 10.5 years, married for 2.5 (she asked me!).

I'm in shock right now. I feel very hurt. Any advice about how people process this would be really, really welcome. I've always been too nice and helpful and at the moment I feel a fool. I internalise anger very quickly which in this case worries me. I need to deal with this rather than bury it.

No wonder nothing I did made a difference to her - I guess she had moved on a while ago. How could I compete with something new and exciting?

Please help.

Max (devastated)