Love, PAIN and the Whole Crazy Thing

[mcol]

kml and flylady...

thanks very much for your help, support, hugs and other advice. Being new to the DB process I am sure you have seen a lot of this stuff before and I appreciate you taking me by the hand through the steps to rekindling my M.

Flylady...you are right on about the relationship losing its addictive status and turning habitual. I think kml caveats your observations very well with the recommendation on the love language recognition.

kml you make a very good point about me dying. W has said often that she cannot see a future for us as I am in this line of work. Hoping that my change in careers helps that. Bottom line up front (BLUF), I think she feels put behind my career. Truthfully, she is right to a certain extent.

Not sure if W is happy about being hoodwinked into an affair but when other W called and attacked her the fight or flight kicked in. I did not really have feelings on it one way or the other back then because I did not know what I know now. However, I still believe that is the past and truly believe that she was not looking to get into a relationship with a married man. I do know that my W broke that relationship off shortly after she found out he was M.

Yes, I have not gone dark but I am also not spending a ton of time on the phone either. More than anything it is just telling her that I hope she is doing ok and checking to ensure she is ok financially which I know she is since she gets paid the weeks I don't.

Flylady correctly points out that she is testing the waters with the OM loser/manwhore/terd and I do hope that she realizes that my love and our relationship is not worth that jacka$$

I have successfully done it. I am now posting from Afghanistan and I am so thankful that I have my own laptop which I will use in my room to continue posting.

Thanks again friends...chat soon.