We have already spoken and TM'ed a couple times today. A little alone time and reflection goes a long way. Funny, I fretted about it all night, do I really want to go through with this, it will be an uphill battle. I couldn't understand why I was asking myself these question, because I had already answered them. What I was bothered by didn't hit until this morning.
What I'm bothered by is having W in the house, coming and going, as she pleases, to party all night while I take care of our S. So I don't sound controlling and people get my perspective. W is turning to her friends a lot lately and getting really smashed, coming drunk or showing up hungover, our S's schedule is totally out the window and I pretty much watch him full time. Matter of fact, her mother called her today and asked if she could spend some time with him this coming weekend since it has been so long. So I'm feeling like a doormat.
However, it hit me on the way to work. I want my R with my W. But she is going to have to get help herself first, so I'm going to let her stay, come and go, sleep wherever you want, and I'll just keep a smile. Either way I will end up great. I will either win my W back completely, or she will continue in her self quest of discovery leaving behind the one thing I find the most precious, S.
So feeling a lot better today, just going to let it all roll off my back and just be thankful that I have some of them.
