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Joined: Nov 2007
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it amazes me that a woman can walk away from her children. I can see hurt feelings and emotional needs causing problems in a M, but children. they are sooo innocent. how could anyone ever just stop needing to see her children.

I'm like you, about 3-4 hours into my day, I'm looking forward to going to pick them up. I know it means cleaning crayon off the walls and changing diapers, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

i'm with atlas... just one step at a time. being here means being in if for the long haul... maybe the A will take its course and maybe 7-8 months from now, she'll be regretting it, but you can't wait around and not do anything in the meantime.

Go out, hang out... GAL. \:\)


If i can't fall in love... I'd like to fall in chocolate! ~ Author Unknown

ann
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dh4320 Offline OP
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thanks anne,

ya im not going to wait around, if she comes around and i am willing then great, snd that is what everyone is saying when she wakes up she will look back and realize what she has lost...


Me 35
W 26
S 3
D 10 months
I have custody
Bomb 11/9/07
W PA 10/07 ended 2/08
Removed W from house 11/16/07
I filed in Nov.
D put on hold
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1268484&page=6&fpart=16
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dh4320 Offline OP
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I picked up the kids today and asked my 2 1/2 year old son if he saw mommy today, he said no. so basically she has not seen the kids in five days, when i got them back after the court order she was going nuts after five days now its like its not a big deal. I am hoping she is not seeing them much bc she is getting her sh!t together but i dont think that is whats happening. It kills me that she is so neglectful towards the kids right now, a few people said if i get primary custody of the kids that she will take off and go away, run away or something like that. If that does happen i will truly know she has lost her mind and that she was not ready to be a mother.....


Me 35
W 26
S 3
D 10 months
I have custody
Bomb 11/9/07
W PA 10/07 ended 2/08
Removed W from house 11/16/07
I filed in Nov.
D put on hold
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1268484&page=6&fpart=16
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 371
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dh4320 Offline OP
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thought i had a c session tonight i messed up its actually wed at 9, in any case i was thinking about my C. He and his wife separated in June he moved to Austin for three months and was completely dark except to talk to his kids, his wife started an EA but he did not snoop or ask about the R with OM she said the usual things at the beginning not in love with you unhappy for years yadaya but after three months she wanted to start working on there M, so i guess there is hope he said she told him the M was over so he ultimately went dark, i think that is the key and that is what i am doing..... they have been reconciling for the last 3 months and he says they still get into arguments but at the same time the time apart and the space let them both have the time to think about what they are giving up


Me 35
W 26
S 3
D 10 months
I have custody
Bomb 11/9/07
W PA 10/07 ended 2/08
Removed W from house 11/16/07
I filed in Nov.
D put on hold
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1268484&page=6&fpart=16
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 371
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dh4320 Offline OP
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just had a thought,

one of my W's biggest complaints was that i did not do enough with the kids, now here i am almost a month of being the only parent taking care of them, i know for a fact my W did not think i could handle it, she has constantly told other people he is getting help from everybody, well those people said he got help the first week but the last 3 he has done on his own, is this a change she will notice?? i am sure it will get under her skin that when she thought i couldnt handle it i am actually handling it fine.. so i guess that is a ribbon for me, YAY


Me 35
W 26
S 3
D 10 months
I have custody
Bomb 11/9/07
W PA 10/07 ended 2/08
Removed W from house 11/16/07
I filed in Nov.
D put on hold
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1268484&page=6&fpart=16
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 371
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dh4320 Offline OP
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i also thought about something the W said 2 weeks B4 the bomb, she was concerned about what she was going to get me for Christmas, how does a WAW think about a caring thing for her husband only 2 weeks b4 dropping the our marriage is over bomb??


Me 35
W 26
S 3
D 10 months
I have custody
Bomb 11/9/07
W PA 10/07 ended 2/08
Removed W from house 11/16/07
I filed in Nov.
D put on hold
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1268484&page=6&fpart=16
Joined: Jun 2007
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dh,

Sounds like the PMA is up and your doing well, however, you are focusing a lot on negatives like her not seeing her kids. That is her choice, not yours. Just keep being the best dad you can and show them love. As for talking to the 2 1/3 year old, come on, my S is now 2 months from being 3, I asked him a lot of questions, he would say yes to anything I asked. But if I asked if mom was kissing big bird, he would say yes, so let it be and don't confuse the kids.

Also, lets get back to what you want. It seems like you are saying you won't wait around. Is this really the case? You either stand for this M or you don't. I honestly gave up on mine, and that is when things changed. But I'm not saying give up, I'm saying either stand or don't. If you choose to stand, plan on spending some time alone, taking care of the kids by yourself, and getting other things done. Lots of waiting. But I would suggest standing, I think you really love her and want it to work or you wouldn't be here.

Just let W run down that rabbit hole and see where it leads. I mean come on a man who provides, looks good for her, takes care of the kids, or a guy that plays the cool rif on his guitar in a smoke filled bar. He ain't slash, so really don't worry and start to laugh about it. She is fulfilling a fantasy and when we do that as people, we usually find the grass isn't greeener or much worse, how did I get involved in this nightmare.

Take a look at this way. Do you think he respects her? I mean another groupy! Haha, he doesn't care about her, and when she gets kicked to the curb for a younger one, she will be like what happened. Just wait it out.

I still can't get over a 20k retainer for a divorce. Although, then again I have seen much worse. But that is a joke.


Me: 31
W: 31
S: 2
Bomb 6-24-07
Seperated 6-24-07
W Filed October
Temp. Hearing 11-26-07
Completely Sober Jan. 2, 08.
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Posts: 371
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dh4320 Offline OP
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Thanks Atlas,

your right i need to stop confusing the kiddo. Your right i do need to laugh about who she is with, hes been doing the same thing for 15 years and has gotten him no where. The pathetic d!ckhead even tried to get my W about a month b4 the bomb to get me to sponsor a cd for him, what a piece of work, so ya i am laughing now as i type. I will get back on focus and do what i need to do for the kids, i do still love her and i am willing to wait but what i am saying is i am not going to lock myself in a closet, i need to enjoy life a bit. I wrote a lot of posts bc my c session was rescheduled and i was going to vent all of what i typed at my session instead i put it on to the board. So to answer your question about do i stand for this M, i do i hurt for the turmoil my family is in so i will make a stand be firm but cordial, be a person that will not be manipulated but noble at the same time,,, i am making myself sound pretty good,,,, hehe


Me 35
W 26
S 3
D 10 months
I have custody
Bomb 11/9/07
W PA 10/07 ended 2/08
Removed W from house 11/16/07
I filed in Nov.
D put on hold
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1268484&page=6&fpart=16
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 371
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dh4320 Offline OP
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Posts: 371
bump


Me 35
W 26
S 3
D 10 months
I have custody
Bomb 11/9/07
W PA 10/07 ended 2/08
Removed W from house 11/16/07
I filed in Nov.
D put on hold
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1268484&page=6&fpart=16
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 371
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dh4320 Offline OP
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Posts: 371
Well not much has changed here, W still did not come and see the kids, talked to her Aunt tonight, she called me, Aunt says she has not talked to her since last thursday. Her whole family is in nonbelief of what she has done. Some of her frineds called me today and asked if she has seen the kids, i saod i dont think so, they wanted to call her and see if she is ok. I told them dont do it, she has gone dark and wants people to call and check on her, play into her drama, i told her friends if something has happened to her i would know about it, if it invloves police or emergency personnel i know how the system works. Her Aunt told me she called her sister for financial help and her sister(who is going through her own divorce told her she kid help her with maybe 20 bucks, not what my wife is used to. My W could write a check for pretty much anything and not worry about it bouncing(not trying to sound like donald trump) but i provided pretty well for her, so a couple thoughts... she is playing this lost puppy waiting for me or other people to bail her out, or she is just lost and running out of places or people to turn to. Obviously OM is not helping her out too much. So i will keep DBing staying extremely dark, no calls,emails or TM i again have cut off communication with her completely. I can do this cuz i knw it will not go anywhere except her trying to get something out of me right now, what do you guys think....


Me 35
W 26
S 3
D 10 months
I have custody
Bomb 11/9/07
W PA 10/07 ended 2/08
Removed W from house 11/16/07
I filed in Nov.
D put on hold
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1268484&page=6&fpart=16
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