The End or Just a Begining?

[dh4320]

Atlas,
enjoy the sledding, my W's attorney is a tool as well, if you didnt read back enough into my thread you will see that W paid him 20K as a retainer and i told her i wouldnt pay for it, yikes. I havent been around my W in 2 weeks so i dont know what thats like being around her she avoids seeing me i think cuz she has a lot of guilt about everything but i can deal with that, i will keep an eye on your posts and threads and i ask u to do the same, as u told me the OM needs to take its course so stop thinking about it, u keep doing what your doing the W seems to notice u in a good way....

[FA]

Stop over analyzing.......live for the day......take each day, one step at a time...looks like you are doing good. Keep up the good work.....and it is good work by the way...

[Atlas]

So after spending a good Saturday night with W, she explained she needed to be with the girls. She has a good support group of girls, unfortunetly they are all divorcing. There are 4 of them, one had her husband tragically murdered recently, the other 2 have physically abusive husbands. I asked W what am I, she said they think I'm nuts and should go home to my H. So off she went to Margaritte night and a Sex in the City marathon.

W shows up at the house Sunday morning in the same clothes she left in and totally hung over. Sorta funny since she claims I'm this huge boozer, which I was when she left, but not much anymore. So I take care of her and she sleeps most of the day in front of the fire, while I do work and play with our S.

After she got up we went sledding and had a great time. S was loving it, but didn't like the cold all too much. She then said that she still didn't feel good, could we just rent some movies get a pizza and stay in. Which is fine by me. I tell her that I have to do some grocery shopping, and she says she wants to stay and take a bath. New step! Well as she is running the water, S rips open the door, and she didn't bother to shut, but I kept my distance and didn't take any sneaky peaks. The whole time she is talking to me.

When I return from the store, W is wearing my boxers and a t-shirt of mine. We order dinner, and after that get S down. Lots of backrubbing and me giving her foot massage, but she kept her distance on the couch. Had a great time until we started watching the Waitress. Haha, should have read the back, it's all about affairs. We turned it off, neither one of us feeling comfortable. Haha!

She spent the night, but wanted to stay on the couch, I didn't push. However I did offer her the bed and said I would take the couch. She said she was still awckward towards our bed, so I let her stay out on the couch.

This morning I left them in the house, and kissed her goodbye when I left for work. Hope that isnt' a mistake, come home and everything is gone!! Well someone has to extend some trust some time, so might as well be me.

She is having a hard time understanding how I would want to be with her after all of this. Thinks she is now an immoral person, and I deserve a girl that is a good person. Lots of negative talk on her behalf about herself. She is pretty disguisted with herself right now and really letting herself take it. Just listened and validated. A few things I told her I didn't agree with, like the immoral thing. Just said I don't think people are inherintly immoral or moral, I think they either choose the moral choice or not each time.

Overall, an amazing weekend. Felt like a family. Lots of compliments from her. She also said, that the biggest change she has noticed is that since I had the Thyroid fixed I'm not on edge all the time, and so much more mellow. Said she really feels so much more comfortable around me. No expectations, I'm sure a pull back is coming, but I just keep acting "as if," and keep my head held high.

[Gone Dancin']

Everything sounds real good, brotha! However, reading the backs of movies before you get them may be something to consider in the future, eh?

Really, I'm glad that things aren't moving too terribly fast (though some things do seem a little speedy). It would be so easy to just jump back into life together full speed, and I'm glad that neither of you are really pushing for that.

Her wearing your boxers and t-shirt -- I'm SO envious! You stir up some pretty nostalgic times for me with that comment...

And I'm officially D'd now and moving on with my new changes.

GD

[Heimlich]

Stay away from "The Last Kiss". W and I watched that together back in March, reminded me of how much I had been hurt and I think was one of the contributing factors to me being here.

No advice. You the man. Carry on.

BD

[Torchbearer]

Keep things slow. It's so easy to get sucked into the good times and eventually they hopefully will be the good times without any strings attached. Enjoy the moments for what they are, but remember all the difficult stuff that needs to be worked through.

Even though H and I are committed again he still lives at his friend's house and we are trying to go slow. I was reminded of this again during a 3+ hour long phone conversation last week. It was tough. It was good and needed, but it reminded me that we still have a ways to go, and so do you.

I am glad things are going well though!! Keep it up.

[Atlas]

Ya it was rather funny, night is going awesome, laughs, back rubs, etc...

Then you see this movie with a horrible marriage, she is having an affair with a wonderful guy...suddenly she is not watching facing the couch pretending to sleep, I'm sitting forward uncomforatable..lol, ah such a scene.

It's hard, she asked to dismiss the divorce again, and I said no. She wants to work things out and understands why I want it this why. She says she probably needs more space to work out her issues. There was some future talk on her behalf which was really nice. But just as she will say, something like, you think 5 years here and then a bigger home, she will say something like my town home will be buetiful. So lots of waffling.

She is so horribly guilty, keeps saying I'm such a wonderful guy and why would I want her since she is trash (immoral, you name it). All I respond with is it's my choice, and she is the one I want to be with. On one I made the mistake of saying I made her promise and I wouldn't have made it if I didn't intend to keep it, she broke down, apparently my promises don't mean sh@#! Explained that she could still keep her promise, that it is a daily choice. She's hurting inside, and I want to help but I'm part of the hurt, so it's tough.

[Atlas]

Oh I'm not putting too much stock into any of this. She is exploring right now, wants to see how she feels at home.

Well W has asked if she can come over again tonight, said she has some computer work. Seem to be spending all our free time together, not sure what to think about that. Doesn't leave me with a lot of time to digest the last experiance.

[Atlas]

Little slip backwards last night. I knew before she came over, see above post, that I needed some time to think. Well she assumed she could spend the night again. When the topic came up, I said I thought it would be better if her and S went to her place that night. Didn't really give an explanation. She was upset with me and hustled out pretty fast.

I sent her a text saying that what I meant to say didn't come out how I wanted it, I just needed some space. She TM'ed right back, saying no need to explain I know how that feels. See you tomorrow. So I think she could see that I was a little stressed and just couldn't handle a tense night. I guess we will see what happens tonight, she is supposed to pick up S.

[dh4320]

I dont think it was a slip, i think you are still letting her know that you have some power back, if i was in your sitch i probably would have done the same it shows strength not weakness.