H said our M is "platonic"

[Dom R]

I have to admit I cringed when I saw your name DomR. No offense.
I'm just in no position for a "rah rah", full of solutions post.

you dont want solutions? odd place for you to be, then

Let me just answer you by saying I do not want just platonic love, I do not want just sex. I want a R/M that is both love and sex combined. It's not asking too much.

you didnt really answer my question, though.

My question wasnt "what do you want out of your marriage". I asked, "what do you mean by 'sex' ?"
Because it means different things, to different people.

If you want to come up with a solution for what is missing in that department.. first, it's important to identify what specifically, you are lacking.

I pointed out that there are (at least) 5 different things that "i need sex" could actually mean to you. If there's only one of them that you Really Need, but you dont identify it to yourself.. then you could waste a lot of time and energy pursing the 4 "wrong" ones.

If I am brutally honest, my choices are stay in the M and have A's to avoid completely dying inside, or getting out of this M and forcing everyone to adjust but hopefully all coming out happier in the end.

There's a book on negotiations/meetings, that advises to "avoid the sucker's choice" when looking at a problem. That is to say, avoid restricting yourself in to "You have to pick either A or B [and both of them are bad]".

Those arent your only possible choices. They're the only ones you see right now. But you do have other options.

If you'd like to hear about some alternatives.. you might start by answering my "what do you mean by [I need] sex?" question.