I'd give interview mixed reviews. They used my scores from a previous interview and then asked a few more questions. I did good but I think they already have someone else in mind.
I imagine WAW will call for 5D tonight. I have a few things I could break the ice and start small talk conversation with her about such as me transferred money to pay my cell bill and needing 5D school jacket. Maybe, we could just talk about our days afterward. Sux to not have your wife and your best friend. It is so obvious that she is lonely, confused, scared and down.
I'd like some input on getting stuff. Nothing that is there I need. However, if I get it, then it does show I am moving on and reminders of me won't be there. I really don't even want the things I would get. I'd have to have a yard sale or something. I just don't know what to do. If my life is going to be without her than I do not want constant reminders of her.
At least she has not contacted her lawyer in 2 weeks.
Well no news is good news I suppose. No contact between WAW and I or 5D. Got 10 hours sleep again last night too. 5D had a cough when I picked her up Sunday and WAW did not even pack her school jacket. Fortunately, it has been warm last two days. 5D and I got to put x-mas lights in yard and just spend some quality time together. Tonight we are going to make x-mas candy. Thinking about getting a gingerbread kit for Wednesday night.
I think it will be incredibly difficult for WAW to not call tonight for 5D, we will see. Perhaps, we can have simple conversation. I do have two things I need to tell her that might spark it. Otherwise, just GAL and remain dark.
Although, WAW looking into online dating service is very discouraging. I am going to view this as a reflection of her loneliness. She has few friends at the moment and certainly is not going out. She is definitely not seeing or corresponding(yet) with anyone and definitely not these jokers 100's of miles away. And since she has not contacting her lawyer for the last two weeks, at the minimum she is at least not as determined, and perhaps as certain, as she was prior to our meeting.
I suppose I should call it meet people online. Of course this negative is offset by the positve of her not contacted her lawyer since our meeting two weeks ago.
Anyhow, I feel good today. Lots of sleep lately is helping. I am not feeling nearly as discouraged as I was couple days ago. I am looking forward to plans to make x-mas candy and dinner with 5D. I think that is the trick for me...get excited about things I am going to be doing in future days. Also, reading about 'darkness' again helps. Makes me feel like I am doing the right thing for everyone involved.
Well, our mutual friend called me last night. She said WAW sent her a nasty email about 20 days ago about not supporting WAW decision. She alienated her best friend b/c she told her to try. She reached out to her wanting her to talk to but I guess not anymore. I was very detached throughout conversation. Told her I know WAW is very lonely, scared, etc...Told her I still love wife but I did not know what I would do if she pulled in the driveway right now, which I know she is not going to do. Got to tell her about few things I've learned about myself also. Like how I was miserable at work and thus tried to getaway from it by playing online chess. Ridiculous to lose wife over playing on computer. She said she had left 2 messages on both phones on consecutive days and WAW would not return her calls. That told me quick WAW mindset had not changed much. Anyhow...
Got woke up at 3:34am to voice mail from WAW wanting to talk to 5D. No telling when she sent it. So, I called her at 5:50. I told her I need 5D jacket. She said she had lost it and 5D got a dress code violation because of it on Monday then found it. I then told her I xferred some money because of a bill of mine. She thanked me. Then told her about 5D cough, and even asked what medication she would recommend because she was out of what I was giving her. She suggested a product. Everything was really nice and pleasant and I would have thought positively about things until she brought up papers and when am I going to sign. I said I thought their were things you were thinking that we discussed previously. She said oh, I'll call my lawyer. I said we only talked about 12 things more to be discussed. She then talked to 5D. Afterward, we talked again. This time she says that she will not agree to equal time or joint custody and wants "safety net" of crap visitation with an any other time agreed upon clause, just in case. Really just a dig at my parenting. She then said is their anything else I'd consider. I said so you are basically asking me to give up my 5D. She said no but...and had nothing to say. I did say, probably should not have, that I had no "safety net" when I married you, no prenuptial or anything. But in the end, she did say she would meet again to discuss stuff in papers.
Then I went to 5D school to get CW/HW because I kept her out of school due to her cough. While I was there, I took the time to check to see if wife had done as requested. She said she would pickup 5D on my non-visitation days last week of W,Th,F from school instead of another party. Turns out wife did not pick 5D up from school on any of these days. Pile of horse.
So, today I am really ticked. I guess it's easier to become more fully detached when wife is trying to take your 5D from you, lie to your face about her, etc... Get to see attorney this afternoon...oh boy...She has no grounds and cannot file fault unless she just lies again and expects me to roll over on our child. Meanwhile I have 3 grounds and it won't win me 1 extra day with 5D. Something wrong with that picture. Anyhow, going to talk about this pickup 5D matter and how to win custody again.
Regardless, my plan is to wait. I am not going to practice good DB/DR and plan my actions but not execute them until I am sure. As we all should read ten times. If you think about taking some action...Don't. I think this is one of those times. I really have to decide if I am going to file and try to win custody. Their would be no chance then. That line in the sand would never be washed away.
Sorry about the length but...10-20minutes of conversation with 2 people can lead to a lot I guess...Input, insights, greatly appreciated.
Attorney visit went as well as possible. I do not have to sign no fault/irreconcilable differences papers in my state and even WAW attorney knows she has no grounds to win fault claim. Almost comical. We changed a few things in her current papers and are sending them back. She won't agree to custody stuff so I guess it'll be more wait and see. Best advice I got...keep doing what I am doing...spend as much time as I can with 5D and write it down. Something everyone should do in the boats we are in...hopefully we can plug some holes soon.
WAW contacted me last night little before 7pm wanting to talk to 5D. I told her she was bathing and went into her coughing. Told her I picked up 5D school work and got medicine for her. A few minutes later WAW asked if she needed to come to my house to give medicine. I said no I had some. Whole thing makes no sense, I just told her I had some. Then she started saying she wanted to talk to 5D. I said she was in the bath and was going to do her school work and she started in on me. You know that nasty tone, "I want to talk to 5D...blah blah" and I'll call back in a bit and hung up.
I called back at 7:30 and basically said I don't know why you got so aggrevated I was just telling you that she was bathing, going to do classwork, and needed to call now. Silence. Then she talked with 5D for like 30seconds.
Called WAW at 5:50am today to give 5D update. Told her she was still coughing but I was going to take her to school. I told her that I was going to take her medicine during planning period and then go immediately after-school to give her next dose. She then started in on how her mother (my MIL) misses 5D and planned to pick 5D up. She even stated whenever WAW was sick her grandmother took care of her. I said it was in the best interest of 5D for me to take care of her. She got more angry and said something like I don't know why you won't let my mother pick her up but whatever I'll pick her up at your place after-work.
This is somewhat good because any extra time with 5D will be good if things go to court, and shows that I am taking care of 5D.
As far as WAW, she has lost her ever lovin' mind. She can't remember things two sentences ago. Snaps at anything. Just ridiculous. Sux, I broke two weeks of darkness because of 5D cough. It is even clear that I just need to leave her alone. I love her but I have no chance with her snapping at simple things like giving 5D medicine. It will be easy to begin new period of darkness for at least next three weeks due to upcoming holidays excluding x-mas eve. Maybe no work for her and holidays will calm her down.
I believe another source of her anger is because she cannot win a D case. She cannot file no-fault and even her attorney knows she does not anything near grounds to win a fault case. In short, she cannot get what she wants and knows it.
Picked up 5D from school to give her cough medicine. WAW said she would pick up from my house when she got off work. She did not bother to call. So, I fixed 5D dinner, played, colored, etc... Finished making hot chocolate as WAW arrived. First thing WAW did was give me something simple she found at work. Found it odd later that someone that is treating me so poorly would think to give me even a pile of pooh. Anyhow, I told WAW what was in 5D school bag, candy we made, school picture, suncatcher we painted, and told her we studied for test. She seemed a bit down and was reluctant to even look at me or even 5D. Seemed like effort just for her to realize 5D wanted to give her a kiss while drinking hot chocolate. When 5D was done with hot chocolate they got in car to leave. I got in my truck and left before them.
I was very detached again, but WAW is going to need more time to reconsider, if ever. Got a few plans for the next few days without 5D.
WAW would not answer the phone this morning when I called about 5D's cough twice because cell phone cut out. I also wanted to know if I needed to give 5D next dose of medicine at school. She called back leaving a voice mail saying her mother was going to do it. Aggrevates me she won't let me take care of our child. I really think this is just her using 5D as a pawn to hurt me. Otherwise, she would allow me to spend time/care for 5D when she could not as opposed to anyone else. I cannot push this now.
Regardless, I find that the days after my 5D goes back to WAW's or the day after seeing WAW are very difficult. I guess this gets better one way or the other.
Have to decide if I should call to ask WAW if 5D is getting over her cough. I also need to discuss taking 5D church. Maybe I should just text her. Either way sux to not do things together. Maybe one day.
Hopefully, someone, me or someone here, gets a positive due to the holiday season...gl2uall
