I'm still in fantasyland but reality is nipping at my heels regarding kids and money. I'm screwed. I cannot afford this house and the thought of the kids makes me ache in pain. So I just don't know what to do. I don't know if I could go through with the D if I knew H and I would be at odds. I couldn't do that to the kids. But if I am honest, I cannot do this to myself either. If I am brutally honest, my choices are stay in the M and have A's to avoid completely dying inside, or getting out of this M and forcing everyone to adjust but hopefully all coming out happier in the end. I don't want to do option 1. Too icky and it doesn't meet my goal which is to find a R/M that combines both love and sex. I just couldn't do that to H either. I love him as a person and don't want to be a jerk. So yes, amicable D would be the right direction.
