Well, I'm starting a new thread because H and I had another long discussion last night and he used the word "platonic" to describe our M. Yuck. He said he loves me so much and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. He is happy. He is content. He wishes things were different in our sex life but he accepts it as is. I think the quote was "I understand we are basically living in a platonic M."
Help. I can't live like this for the rest of my life. I just can't. I'm 37, cute, in good shape, fairly intelligent, a nice person, a good catch. I need sex! Is that so wrong? I don't want to live as "best friends" in a M. Life is too short. I just don't know what to do at this point. I've tried everything. No one can say I haven't given it the old college try. I accepted him back after he left me in '04 and have now ended up in the same exact place as previously - no sex. But now it is worse because I feel myself closing off to him more than ever before. I don't find him attractive. I have no desire to have sex with him. I feel done, emotionally, psychologically, everything. We are getting along fine and dandy. Polite as could be with each other. But he knows we are on thin ice right now. He said "I'm not going to be the one to end this. It will have to be you." Ugh. How can he claim to be so happy when our M is in this state? It makes no sense to me. ?????
I just needed to get that out. I'm not really depressed or anything. Just more numb to it ever being different. I am trying to wrap my brain around a life without him. It is so hard. He said we will always remain close friends no matter what happens in the M. Well, I am not that naive to think that is possible. But maybe he has to tell himself that to get through this all himself. I dunno....
