Long and bumpy road

[Startingover2]

I just got caught up on your sich Jak. Why is it we take 2 steps forward and 1 step back? Keep me posted. I don't know if I can offer any wisdom, but you always have my support.

I have been so down again today. This is my life. This is the best its gonna get. Give up the fantasy that H and I will ever really work out. He is happy being this way and nothing or nobody will push him to be different! If he is hurting he sure doesn't act like it.

I was having some pregnancy issues again last night. I couldn't get ahold of anyone and it wasn't really an emergency, but I did feel super alone. I broke down and sent a text to H and told him what was happening. He said he would be home with his kids and to let him know.....He is supposed to be here damnit!

Just talked with my sister. I lover her dearly but she is one of the ones who cannot relate. She tells me to tell H to F off and let him know how much child support will be. He's not stepping up as a husband/father and its his loss. I completely agree, but its easier said than done when she can go home to her great husband and family and I am stuck alone. She gets irritated with me when I vent how much this hurts and to see him happily going on with his life and friends bugs me. Like its not supposed to bug me.

This has to end soon.