Sir - I get what you mean about owning my feelings and chosing how to react. thanks! ______________
so last night was interesting. My whole family has been sick. For weeks. It's like the cold just keeps getting passed around. I hadn't gotten it yet, but it would figure that i would now seeing as how my sister is getting married this weekend and I'm in the wedding. hehe. anyways. I've been trying to take really good care of everyone because i hate seeing them sick. My H hates pills and is pretty much convinced that medicine doesn't work. As i've explained to him, it only works if you actually take it like you're supposed to... anyways.
so we sat on the couch last night and watched some tv. When we went to bed he just rolled over and didn't say anything. I told him good night, that i loved him and asked for a kiss. he responded and then rolled back over. I was laying there wondering what i did wrong, but i figured if he wanted to tell me, he could. i couldn't sleep, being sick, pregnant and having nightmares, not a good nighttime combo. Anyways. i got up about 4 and apparently he couldn't sleep either cause when i came back to bed he was awake. he asked if i was ok and if i needed anything (i can't remember the last time he actually offered to do something for me) i told him no, i just needed to try and rest. I layed down and he held my hand and rubbed my back until i fell asleep. It was simple and innocent and sweet.
For that moment, it was like we had been transported back 3 years before all of this happened. That's when i realized that was exactly what i had been missing. It has been so long since i had a peaceful moment with him. Truely peaceful. This was the first day that i have woken up and looked over and just smiled. No questions, no doubts, just a smile. I know that probably sounds crazy to everyone, but it was nice.
I know things aren't fixed, but it just gave me a little reminder that the man i fell in love with is somewhere in there. he's just hiding right now. Hopefully if i keep doing good, he'll come back to me.
If i can't fall in love... I'd like to fall in chocolate! ~ Author Unknown
