Funny this is I would never order that H change a poopy diaper. He rarely does but will if he is the one with primary care of baby at the moment while I am doing something else like cooking dinner. We tend to have fairly equivalent but flexible roles. H is clearly dominant in many areas of the household and I am am clearly dominant in others. In the areas where we are the primary manageer we have a general "stay out of my area" mentality such that we rarely have to ask the other to do anything and if we do it is a very "Can you please x,y,z?" kinda thing. The funny thing is that most of the stuff in our home is done in fairly traditional gender role division of labor and so again he gets the traditional male role.
The "cow" is clearly evident in the role division alone. Shows of vulnerability by me are avoided like the plague by him. He likes the monkey but the monkey doesn't get much play either. The monkey and bunny roles feel vulnerable to me. I tend toward a comfortably cow/lioness mode although the lioness rarely has to roar at all. I can agree with you that I got more sexual play by him when we were dating because all the monkey fun stuff is easier during a dating R. It isn't natural for me and it feels very vulnerable. Sometimes when we were dating he found shows of "play with me sexuality" and other forms of vulnerability annoying too. I sometimes think that he liked the vulnerability of being a recent divorcee who had been hurt and either thought he was getting a long term "broken" woman (bunny only) who was a big project that he could throw flowers at and she would only see the flowers and not the fact that he was unable to be intimate OR he thought he was getting the rock of gibralter who would never need anything. I was and am neither.
