Still hopeful for some pleasant surprises

[SirPrizeMe]

Thanks Trixi and WAS32.

On the why should she get to stay in the big house? question, it just is. Over the summer she repeatedly asked me for a separation. For a couple of reasons I did not want to move out. Obviously I would miss my family. Secondly money was an issue. Finally it was pleasant in the house - there were no fights. She just ignored me all the time. I was hoping she'd stay and see me for the good father I was trying to be.

Then one evening she told me she still calls her OM and "he'll always be my friend." I left the house the next day, telling her, she can do what she wants, but her ongoing relationship with OM is not good for me, so it is time for us to sell this house. Well the day after that, she asked me to go to MC again with her. She actually went to MC for one session then she backed out.

So,... how did I get here? I don't know exactly. but yes, she is still in the big house.

But it is a temporary thing. I'm not worried about it, except so far as it impacts my chances at reconciliation. Sure it's inconvenient for me and I want my own place, a space to call my own. But it will pass. Either I'll reconcile with W, or I will not, but in either case I will get my own space. And it won't be long.

I think I will lay out these options, but not yet. Patience.
We'll see.

SHE is the one that wants to divorce. SHE needs to understand what it will be like. YOU are not the instigator.

Yes! This is where we are getting to, now. When I moved out she didn't feel it. Everything was the same except no hubby to scowl at and actively ignore. But now it is brass tacks time. Budgets! and rent! and moving! oh my!

If she made a *choice* to remain married and work on creating a mutually satisfying marriage, then these financial issues wouldn't exist. Why should the savings be depleted?

Trixi, That is exactly the realization I am hoping she will have, though I don't know if I want to say the words to her. It's better if she figures that out herself. On the other hand, again, spending the savings is a short-term thing for me. I'll make more money. (On the other hand it is much more painful for her.)


thanks for the support.