Time for honesty & truth for a new beginning

[phbear316]

morning Jeanette

Bitterness, sure its possible, just one of the assorted emotions I am going thru the last couple of days.

Why don't you want to be right, bask in the glory of being right nothing to be ashamed of.

Well as far as the joint account, is it coming around to the point that i remove my check from being deposited to the account and make him ask me for money? Or do i hold off. I ordered some gifts last night and used our credit card. I was planning to just get the money from my account and deposit it into the joint checking and tell h this is what i did. H has not said one word of what cards to use and not use as of now.

I thought about looking at the online statements, but here is where i feel and think my h is controlling, he has all the passwords to accounts. So how can i access any accounts if he is the keeper of the passwords? So i strike out on that one.

Have no fear, i am not going to help him pack if he goes to fla. He is on his own with that, he seems to be doing a good job of it on his own, for example the stuff from over the weekend. I have seen no laundry from the weekend away. No suit returned to closet, no white shirt to be laundered. Guess she has it all. Maybe they have plans to go to another function together.

So i would not tell him that i love him, just say i cannot stop you from going, and hopefully you will use the time to clear your head.

Oh thank god she does not work for the hospital i work for, there would have been a not nice meeting between her and I. My point was he knows all the people i work with, some infact work for him, one big family kinda situation. Thought I was being the better person in asking him to go. Maybe i would have been suprised or maybe he would have been suprised that i would even think about asking him. But i know what his answer is and will be. So no need to even ask is the way i look at it

I so hope you are right jeanette that the pain and numbness gets easier. I feel empty, so that is why i am letting go, to save me. I can tell h is getting that antsey look on his face when he wants to tell me something, not talk but tell me the decision he has made. Saw this face in june with first bomb, and then in sept, with second bomb. I guess its not getting to me because i know what one part of it is, fla trip. I hope thats all he wants to tell me. What hurts is there is no talk like he said there would be just his finate decision of what he is doing.

Just wish that look would mean he wants to talk, not just tell.

thanks Jeanette

Hugs!

Bear