Wife and I continue to drift apart. We went out and picked out our Christmas tree yesterday. It was a sad event because this will be the last occurance of this family tradition. On entire trip, both there and back, the wife did not speak to me except to respond to my questions with terse answers.
This really fits the pattern. She does not speak to me day-to-day unless I ask her a question, or she needs information regarding the kids.
I am left feeling very lonley, feeling like I have been short-changed. I am being cheated out of my own happiness by her selfish and immature behavior. I continue with what has become clownish PMA. I am growing weary of painting my face each morning in order to appear happy. Acting as-if is getting very, very old.
I know the kids will be hurt, but I want out. I deserve better than this.
I know this is very hard. What I have done is concentrated on my son. I decorated the house for him. We got the tree for him. If it is the last one I want him to remember it...
take care buddy Manuel
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Also, I feel compelled to further clarify something.
My last trip to urgent care was for an X-ray of #2's hand. The wife was not with me - it was just #2 & #3. And he indeed had a broken finger. We went, got treated, got discharge instructions, and off we went.
In fact, I can't tell you the last time we were together in the emergency room, urgent care, or doctor office for an illness or trauma involving the kids. We know that the other person is capable of handling what is going on. We let each other know what is happening, and keep in touch. But we are not "helicopters," feeling like we both need to be invloved in every single difficult event that the kids experience. Indeed, we both realize that there is often a benefit to having just one parent present in some situations.
It's been my experience that, as our kids got older, the "Oh well" factor kicked-in a lot more. Stuff happens. Let the other one know, take care of it, and tell stories about it later...
I just wanted to clear that up, lest people think I am at best a selfish father, and at worst a total assbag.
Im sorry That you are feeling this way. Im feeling sad for you. she is a truly lost soul and I don't know if she will ever come back from her alien world.
You have to do what's best at this point. Yes, your children will be hurt, but kids are smart, im sure they have an idea on what's going on.. not the details, but that something is not right.
Its been a long road for you and I wish the turnout was different. You are a wonderful person and Father and you truly don't deserve any of this.
((((hugs))))
tal
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
I have to agree with TAL. Mark, you have your life ahead of you and you deserve some happiness. Perhaps the issue of who files in the end is not of any real importance.
I just want to say something about your post about 'treatment' and children. I don't think anyone thinks you are a selfish father etc. Having several children of my own I can totally relate to the way you handle things and as a couple my H and I deal with things like that in a similar way. I think some people have just had bad experiences with their spouses and were trying to protect you in case your W got snipey about things like this.
You have done nothing that should make you feel you have to explain yourself on this issue.
You can't imagine the number of times I have ended up in A & E with one or other of the kids between the horses and other sporting injuries!!!!!!! Meanwhile H looks after the other kids or keeps the other balls up in the air!!!!
You take care.
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Here in the States, there is an increasing number of parents who feel as if they need to constantly be involved in every aspect of their kids' lives. They are referred to as "helicopter parents," and I know of a few myself. It's these people who believe that the kid would be emotionally traumatized if both parents were not holding the kid's as they wait to see a doctor for an eye exam.
Please give me a break. The kid is gonna be fine. Let the other parent handle it, and you can hear all about it later.
Im right there with you. Im starting to want out too. Although I still love my W, her behaviour is showing me someone that I dont want to spend my life with.
She's going to bounce from one man to the next because she doesnt know how to fight for her marriage and she doesnt have the dedication to perservere.
Hurtin: 32 WAW: 30 D: 8 Bomb: 10/05 Sep: 12/05 Back together 8/07 Bomb (OM): 11/07 Filed for D (me): 12/07
Im sorry That you are feeling this way. Im feeling sad for you. she is a truly lost soul and I don't know if she will ever come back from her alien world.
You have to do what's best at this point. Yes, your children will be hurt, but kids are smart, im sure they have an idea on what's going on.. not the details, but that something is not right.
Its been a long road for you and I wish the turnout was different. You are a wonderful person and Father and you truly don't deserve any of this.
