Love, PAIN and the Whole Crazy Thing

[mcol]

I forgot to add a couple of things about my sitch:

1) W has an addictive personality that is a family trait. Her dad was tied to online poker (thankfully it was play money). She has alchoholism that runs through her family (thankfully she does not drink) and basically anything that she wants to get involved in she does it non-stop and is almost obsessive about. She turned to her online chat room after she graduated from school and a major void was left. I was gone and she got bored. This is how she met a whole bunch of new friends to include suspected OM.

2) When she got her job, she established her own bank account and I had been having a big duh because I did not understand how she had these new screen names until....***DUH*** I realized that she has started her own AOL account. I know I am snooping but I guess when the sh*t hits the fan and you grasp you look for anything to hold on to.

3) I am scared to not talk to her...even though I am smothering. She does not know that I know about OM and I am afraid that she will feel as though I do not want anything to do with her and this will push her more toward filing. Common DB logic is that she was going to do this anyway no matter what I do but even more so if I smother her. I guess I am just scared that my physical absence landed her in the EA/PA?? she is in now. What will no contact do? Can it get worse??

4) Why does she get to do this to me? I should not have to deal with this sh*t while I am overseas and powerless to knock the OM out for going after my woman.

5) Have I mentioned that my W was involved in a PA with a married man before I met her? Married man's wife called her to confront and she told her that if the W could have kept her man satisfied then she would never have met him...prophetic? It was shortly after that she broke up with the guy. As I understand it the married man and his wife are still together...wonder if she was DB?