Hey SirPrizeMe- I don't want you to feel ignored. I have read your "essays". I usually keep quiet with regard to doling out advice because my thoughts are probably not very DB. And given that my H has just informed me that he wants to hurry and and get divorced, I am obviously not a DB success story.
Having said that- why should SHE get to be in the big house? SHE is the one that wants to divorce. SHE needs to understand what it will be like. YOU are not the instigator.
Personally, I think that outlining ALL the options is the right way to handle it. And then you both discuss what you both can live with. She needs to understand that her choices will not afford her the same lifestyle. If she made a *choice* to remain married and work on creating a mutually satisfying marriage, then these financial issues wouldn't exist. Why should the savings be depleted?
My 2 cents.
Me-43 H-46 M 12 yrs 7/09 T 15 2 grown kids bomb 7/05/07 H moved out 8/04/07 11/22/09 told him I quit;let's get ball rolling Mid Dec- he isn't sure he wants D End 2/2010-Starting to consider piecing
I have read your "essays". I usually keep quiet with regard to doling out advice because my thoughts are probably not very DB. And given that my H has just informed me that he wants to hurry and and get divorced, I am obviously not a DB success story.