Pregnant and abandoned #3

[blindsided1]

Jenny - I know what you are saying about him coming home right now. If he did come home right now and NOT KNOW that it was definately over with OW, he would leave or at least cheat on me again. I feel that at the very core. It's just really hard and I know you know that. For not talking to him in 2 days, I don't exactly feel horrible. Yes, I feel sad and disappointed that he isn't thinking of me, but maybe he is and I don't know it.

Breton - I feel very fortunate to have a huge support system. My family, my friends are great, his family is totally supporting me emotionally. As a matter of fact, he hardly even talks to his family because he knows how much he disappointed them. His Mother called me the other day, just crying because her dreams have been shattered too. She actually apologized for her son. I told her not to apologize for him, he was an adult and we would get through this. H has been good about the appointments. So far he hasn't missed one and we have had a lot of them. I can't imagine that OW is very pleased with that, if she even knows. But, I don't really care about her one iota. I do believe that the pregnancy and the idea of becoming a father scared the crap out of him. We have been going through fertility since February and he was always really supportive. But, the idea of becoming a father and the reality of it are two different things. I think that is part of the reason he ran. I do believe he is afraid to grow up and be more tied down. But, for god sake, he's an adult. He is almost 30. When do he think it will be appropriate for him to grow up? Ever?

Tomorrow is a new day. It almost feels like H and I are at a standoff to see who will call first. Not gonna be me!!!