Thank you for understanding. I know our situations are different, but in a lot of ways they seem similar. I thought of your situation a lot this weekend while I was dealing with my own.
One thing that was sort of a "flashback" for me was that this was the wife I used to be - affectionate, flirtatious, loving, etc. And being that way didn't get me anywhere with my SSM. He had a really nice wife but he didn't appreciate me in the way I needed to be appreciated. So, slowly, over time, not really intentionally, I turned mean on him. This weekend brought back those painful memories, because no matter how much I held H's hand at the mall or rubbed up against him in the elevator, he wasn't any more sexually interested than he was when I was in bitch mode. And this is the really hard part for me, because I want him to want me...and he just doesn't.
So, even if it gets to the point where this isn't an act anymore, it doesn't really get me any closer to the sexually fulfilling marriage I long for, does it? Or am I missing something? Isn't this about just accepting that if I choose to stay married to this man I have to accept the SSM part of it? This is where I'm still very confused.
