I relate to your situation and feel deeply for women whose Hs leave during pregnancy. My H did not physically leave during pregnancy but emotionally abandoned me when I was about 6 months along. He was horrible to me after our D was born and left to live w/OW when she was 14 months old.
Doesn't take rocket scientist to realize that Hs are scared to become fathers. It means the attention has to be on someone besides them. It also means that they feel less free.
"Am I doing the right thing by not calling him?"
In my opinion, yes. You may have to go through this yourself. Please take care of yourself and find people who can support you.
I would tell him of your appointments; do not assume he will go to them. My H didn't go to the last childbirth class that I had.
"He said that one of the issues was that I didn't show him the attention he needs."
Translation: H is too immature to recognize that this is not about him and it's time to be about someone else now. Or he does recognize this and it scares him.
Here's what the DB C told me:
-H lacks confidence as father. Praise anything he does that demonstrates interest, but don't press it.
-When baby is born, point to their special connection. Point out how baby reacts to him.
-I had to do things to make H feel less like a babysitter and more like her father. Example: Well, time for you to take baby to your apartment. No highchair? Gosh, that does indeed sound like a problem. No diapers? sounds like a problem.
-Many Hs show little interest in children until the kids are about 18 months old. I see my H showing more interest since around that time.
Please PM me if you want. I know that the situation is unique.
There are few men who are as frowned upon as those who abandon pregnant wife. He will be under a lot of pressure.
The best advice that I can give you is to put the focus on yourself and the baby.l
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
