Time for honesty & truth for a new beginning

[phbear316]

I went to gym this afternoon, felt good,no one was there, had treadmill for an hour. H has called me twice today since he left around 12. H called when I was on my way to the gym and sounded surprised that i felt ok to go. I said yes, h does not know I did not go on friday, and i miss going. I talk to h, say i am going to food store after gym to get some more cold meds. H asks if i could get some more cold cuts. Sure I say. As i get home and shower H called while I was in shower and called again. as I was making dinner. H wanted to know if I was on a certain highway because traffic was crazy. No I'm home. Oh good he says. GOOD? HUH.. who is this man,

H says he is at work and he will see me in a few hrs. He is supposed to be home at 10pm we will see.

My feelings are right now, my h is controlling and trying to control me. I'm thinking that h does not know how to deal with all of what i said on saturday. I guess guilt is good in some cases.

I'm glad you all are proud of me for sunday. It was nerve racking but it had to be done. I did not know what to do about the tree issue, I let him control it. He wanted the tree, we put up the tree. I look at the tree and feel nothing, empty and pain.

RCR i am jealous you mentioned in you post you and your sweetie were having sex, wish that were true on my side.

Well i'm of for now to do some online christmas shopping, had no luck on sat when i went to the mall. be back later

((hugs))
bear