There are many reasons why the WAW will stick around and vent their anger on the LBS.
In my case (and many others) I am the obstacle between the WAW and her perceived happiness in another life with OM, but my DB efforts have created confusion in her mind. On the face of it I am still looking to be an attractive proposition despite feeling the full force of her wrath, but the lure of OM is a strong as any drug so things get caught up in an uneasy limbo.
Before finding DB I would at this point be doing all the wrong things, D & R talk, begging, pleading, trying to turn her round with guilt, trying to force her to admit to OM etc, etc.
The reason I'm trying to get talking again on this forum is, I'm past the early stages of the bomb, I know the DB drills, I am seeing some small successes, baby steps, but I want to talk with someone else whose in this middle ground. Someone who knows they are in it for the long haul, some who can help me along.
For instance I know I shouldn't focus on OM but it's not easy to block out thoughts of him and W together especially when she comes home from a "night out" all happy and smiley, this coming on top of the fact that over the year I have been denied intermacy. Also I know it would be wrong for me to go looking for something outside of the M.
Even now I get thoughts of things being all over and I want to start R talks just so I can get out of this sitch. This is where I need to draw on the experience of someone who has reached this point. Someone to say to me no!! don't start any R talk.
Anyhow I've just come across this inspiring post, this is the kind of thing I need to draw on daily.
