GGG- What it means to me.

[MJontheMend]

I don't know how much you've thought through that scenario, but it seems from reading this board that the first thing a wife tends to do when she acquires a lover is refuse to participate in any sexual activity whatsoever with her husband from that very day forward. She can go from once a day to zero without warning or explanation. I'm not sure what's up with that, but are you sure you wouldn't be susceptible to this remarkable shift in desire if you tried it?

Well, first I should make it clear that being a polyamorist is not at all the same thing as being a cheater/adulterer or a swinger. Polyamorists strive to have open, honest and loving or at least affectionate relationships with all of their partners. I think a woman who is having an adulterous affair is simply enacting a dishonest model of serial monogamy and that is why she doesn't have sex with her H. It would be the emotional equivalent of cheating on her lover. OTOH, it does seem likely that sexual desire would become attached to the fresh stream of "in love" chemicals in a new sexual relationship. However, eventually some kind of equilibrium could be restored. Also, you need to consider the fact that the relationship would be open for the men to get their needs met otherwise also. I would think in the highly unlikely scenario that I openly became the only sexual partner of 3 different men , the monkey might be all over the new guy but the cow, bunny and lioness could probably take care of the other two. My sister is living with her last boyfriend with whom she is no longer sexual but they cuddle together, share household chores and some finances and co-parent a dog. She is dating a man with whom she is not yet sexual but they are quite hot for each other. Her former boyfriend is quite happy with the arrangement because my sister, like me, is an intelligent cuddly feeder and therefore makes a great woman to have around the house and he is now free to hang out at the strip club where he does yoga with the dancers on a daily basis. So, she was at her new boyfriend's house last night and there was an ice storm so her old boyfriend called her there to let her know to be careful driving home. So, he was able to exhibit caring male protective behavior without feeling jealousy about her new sexual relationship.

Anyways, if I do decide to adopt a polyamorous lifestyle, the good thing is it won't be a problem with my family since pretty much anything goes since my baby bi-sexual sister had a LTR with a female-to-male trans-sexual.