Hi Trixi- I have not been around as long as braveheart but in the research I have done, an OW or OM is not a requirement for MLC but it is probably the most common bandaid that MLCers use to avoid dealing with their issues. I believe my H is having an MLC (or some kind of crisis). There is no OW that I know of and I currently believe my H's bandaid of choice is work.
Since my H left 9 months ago, he has done many of the things right out if the MLC handbook...but he has also done a few things that are out of the norm.
One of the possible reasons I think (dislaimer: I do not know for certain) my H hasn't taken up with OW is because his first W cheated on him and he was devastated. This is what my H has told his reasoning is not to "date"...he does not want to have to learn someone new's life history ...he also recently said he doesn't know anyone to date...to me, these are MLC type excuses for not having to make a decision...avoiding.
MLC is about avoiding dealing with the pain of personal issues. MLCers find whatever way they can in order to make themselves feel better. An OW or OM is not a requirement, but more often then not an unfortunate part of the process.
...he also recently said he doesn't know anyone to date...to me, these are MLC type excuses for not having to make a decision...avoiding.