SCM, I would say keeping balance and self-care in your life, so that you are healthy enough to do the hard work of Piecing is important. Maintain GAL activities and interests throughout the Piecing process.
This is what my IC emphasized to me. He says that there can only be a healthy M with two healthy individuals. Don't let the stress of Piecing take away the positives you've cultivated for yourself, or the balance you've achieved in your own life.
Once you've laid this foundation, then you develop the skills you need to keep from slipping back into old patterns in your M. The compulsion to slip back into old unhealthy patterns will come knocking at your door.
In DB, we first revitalize ourselves to balance and expand our lives. The task in Piecing is to reinvent ourselves as a spouse, by developing the relational skills we lacked before.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
