I have to wonder if my H is a mess just around me or if he is like this all of the time. Not sure, just wondering,
Had today off. H called at 8:30 this morning to see if I still wanted to go Christmas shopping. I told him I had an appt. but will call when I was done and we can figure it out.
When I called him he asked that I meet him at the mall. He didn't want to drop a car off and travel together. Whatever. He was quiet while we shopped. Come to think of it I was quiet too.
It is so hard to block out some of the things that they say. All I could think of is how he told me if he came back the kids would live in a dysfunctional family. I guess in his mind he will never be happy with me. His heart is with someone else and I just don't think it will be changing any time soon.
Anyway, we shopped for a while and then when we were done he went home to get something he took from the house that I needed to cook with today (probably had a tantrum a while back and took it ...it is my rotisserie---he said he wanted to make chicken for his parents...yeah right).
He brought it up and put the chicken on it for me. He stayed while and watched tv in my room. I was laying on the bed and he couldn't be further away from me. Usually he is right there with me ...whatever.
He just left for therapy.He told me this is where he was going. I wish I could be a fly on the wall in his session. I wonder if the C can help him...even sees this for what it is or if H has him convinced that h is in love with mow and has never been happy with me. I refuse to ask him anything about therapy or the C. If he wants to tell me he will.
So, guess I am feeling a little helpless. Letting God, H and the C take control of this. Still unsure about MOW.
My final thought for now is that my h is the most stubborn man ever. Thinks he is always right and can't admit to making a mistake. I don't know how he will ever come home if he is like this. He seemed so distant today. But once again I don't know if this is an act for me alone.
Off to get dinner for the kids. Not sure if H will be back tonight. He didn't say goodbye to d12...so he may. Whatever. We are fine with him here or without him.
