is he too young for MLC?

[Dom R]

My thoughts were if we could fix the sex problem then we would be more willing to fix the other stuff. We need to heal and not re-hash everything. I can't convince him of this. i know he needs to see it for himself.

Errr... I think you are being overly... onesided on that.
What you should say, is that YOU dont want to re-hash everything.
he may disagree. and he is not neccessarily wrong. he is saying what he feels that he needs.

So how do I need to re-act or act for myself when he says no sex? I validate his feelings on this but tell him I disagree? Do I tell him why?

sounds sensible to me. The "why" part too..., but you should be sure to think through the wording extra-carefully before talking about it.