Still trying - Not very well

[LoginName]

Limbo,
You may have moved passed the feelings in this post, but a couple of comments all the same - 'cause I've felt the same, and still do at times.

Maybe it's time for you to concentrate on yourself some more and not worry about the M for a while. Rest. Pull back. Recharge.

but I am so tired of being the one that hold everything together and in many ways taken for granted.

How about stopping being the one for a while. Let go, relax as best you can. This doesn't mean you've given up, just taking a break.

Take care.

[limbo]

Thanks LN

You are right, I do try not to focus on it to much, but its hard, because if he is having an affair again it will be done. There would be nothing left to fix.
But he is here right now and trying to work on it the best he can, and I have to be happy with that, and I am.
But as we all know these thoughts just like to keep creeping up and in!

[saffie]

How are you doing Limbo?

saffie

[limbo]

Hi Saffie,

Thanks for checking in on me! I am doing ok, still find that I get low sometimes, had a very vivid dream on the weekend about being seperated, and found it hard to shake!
But we seem to still be on the right track...I find it hard to really let go of the hurts, I try and not focus on them, but they just seem to be there.
But I am trying not to let them rule and am trying to make things better.

[saffie]

Letting go of the hurt is SO hard. It has nearly brought me to my knees a few times. It does ease gradually though. It's when it hits me unexpectedly that I find it hardest - dreams etc - they hurt badly but they are a way of your subconscious dealing with these things.

I am so pleased that things are going in the right direction

Saffie

[limbo]

Thanks Saffie!!!

I have my favorite Aunt arriving from England on Wednesday, so that is something I am looking forward to, hopefully she will bring me some pork scratchings!!!! I know, I know!!
H is very apprehensive about her coming, because she knows what has gone on, my H had a big soft spot for her, so I think he is worried, what she might say...althought I don't think she will say anything! But we shall see!

[saffie]

Ah....Pork scratchings!!!!!LOL

I hope your Aunt behaves herself - I'm sure she will.

I was thinking about you yesterday as we had star wars on and Yoda was fighting. I suddenly quoted your signature line and my son and H both looked amazed. LOL Of course - I couldn't tell them why I knew the quote!!!!!

saffie

[limbo]

Both my son and H are big star wars geeks, and H has used this on s to get him to do better school, I liked it, so adopted it!!!

I don't think that my H has anything to worry about, my family over there will support me in whatever I do, so if I am trying to make my marriage work they wount do anything to make it harder.
I think H is feeling more embarassed then anything else! as he hasn't had to face anyone other then his parents or my Mum!

[LoginName]

Limbo,has your H's suicide crisis past.I just remembered that there was a time, just a few months ago, where my W would think about killing herself (but heck, so did I sometimes :-) You can think about it, and then you can really think about it. )

By the way, your dream can be a good sign. It may mean you are disentangling from a bad relationship, and you need to do that before you can build a better, new one with your H. I had a similar dream. I think it's positive.

[saffie]

My parents were very gracious with my H. It was his own parents he was worried about - esp his mum as his dad cheated on her and just immediately before my H's 21st birthday he had to kick his own father out of the marital home in order to protect his mum who was going mad with grief. He was so scared of what his mum would say. i kept telling him she was his mum and would love him whatever. He seldom contacts her though.

It's a tough one - all these extended relationships!!!!!

saffie