Recreating trust for my H after EA?

[Michael Mc C]

I initially replied to this a few minutes ago but realized I was looking at it from the wrong perspective so I have since deleted that post. Instead of trying to trust your H again, you want him to be able to trust you, is that correct?

Either way, the level of commitment will be very important to any formation of trust. If you want him to trust you again you need to understand what it is that broke the trust in the first place. In my case I lost trust in my wife not because she had (has) and EA but because although things seemed fine, and because when talking about our M she claimed she was happy, it turns out that it was all deceipt. I know that part of this is the nature of an online affair (not sure if all EA's are the same) but she felt that she wasn't crossing any lines - until the day she truly fell into it.

You and your H need to understand why he changed. Did he change or did he change based on changes in your behavior? Was his becoming distant as a result of something you had done, intentionally or unintentionally? These are questions I feel you need to get to the bottom of. Why after such a short period of time did things fall apart?

I agree that you need to decide whether or not you want this marriage and whether or not you really think it can work out to both your benefit.