Pieces are Coming Together

[Torchbearer]

I'm doing much better now. He spent the weekend again. He called on Friday and said he was packing up his stuff to come over - no more asking . . . I may have to bring that up. I wanted him to come over, but up until now he's been asking if that's okay. It's a comfort thing I know, but I appreciate the courtesy. We just ordered in and watched a movie on Friday. It was kind of weird as I was pretty distant. I wasn't cold, but I know I wasn't all lovey and he knows why. Then on Saturday morning when he got up from bed (I had gotten up a few minutes earlier) he came out to the living room and gave me a hug (like normal), but tears started to leak. I couldn't stop them. I wasn't sobbing, just quiet little tears. He pulled back and looked me in the eyes. Nothing was said, it didn't need to be. He understood. From there things got better. We still aren't passed the things I mentioned in my earlier post, but I think he understands. We both continue to be thoughtful and aware of being nice to each other instead of taking the other for granted. I still feel like I'm walking on eggshells, but I feel he is trying. I don't know what to make of things really. For now I think I need to be content to just let them be and let them play out. Yes, we need to continue having talks, but I don't want to over do them either because then the R is just kind of depressing. I want to enjoy him and being with him without dragging it down. Eventually it'll all work out especially if we try to be nice to each other and aware of what the other needs.

We'll get there. It was just a reminder that we're not quite through this yet. The plus is that we're still committed. As to some of the other stuff, I am letting him take the lead--regarding letting our attorneys go and putting our rings back on. I hate it, but I don't want to be the one to bring it up. He'll get there in his own time. I hate limbo but I still think it's someplace we need to be for awhile. It'll make me appreciate where we're going even more.

P.S. I'm almost done with school. One more paper and two more class sessions to go (including my final class session). Paper is due a week from today and it will be none to soon.