WAW does not want to try

[wawpioneer]

Update,

We have now spent 3 days living together and I have badly misinterpreted our sitch. I will explain.

1. Her main reason for moving back in was to spend some time here and see if her "feelings" change and then she might would know whether or not it could work. She has cried every day that she has been here and did not discuss that with me. She is still keeping her emotional wall up. Also, about the only effort that she has and is willing to put forth is to just be here. She is not willing to talk about our needs and how we can work on fulfilling them. She says that she does not know what her needs are and thus cannot tell me. She says that it just does not feel natural to her and that it feels forced. She says that she feels smothered and does not know what it is that she is supposed to do and she does not know what she wants me to do. She still does not want to to couples MC for now. She is still unsure if she can do this or not. She feels like crap and it is hard to live with.

2. My expectations were WAY too high. I expected her to put "real" effort into our M when she moved back in. Talk about our love languages and goals. What are some of the things that we can do together? How can we work on building intimacy? I did not expect that she would move back in and just "exist" to see if her feelings are going to change. From my perspective all she did was move back in and change her geographic location and not her perspective or attitude towards our M. This was a very painful realization.

3. She says that during our whole relationship that she never has been comfortable with just being with me. She says that she always has to have someone else around such as one of girlfriends so that she can feel comfortable. She says that she is not comfortable with me when we are alone and is not sure is she ever will be and she thinks that says a lot about our R. One thing that she did say that gave me some insight to what she is feeling is that she feels as if I just started caring when she moved out. She feels like I never cared about her! That one hurt because it was not true. She said that the OM accepted her for who she is and showed her that he cared. I have got to work on that but do not know how.

Our R is not progressing as I had thought. I am not sure what to do here. She is not putting any effort into our M other than just being here and that is taking everything she has just to do that. I am not sure what to do. Any thoughts?