I agree with you Brit that he doesn't think I am a horrible person. He said he thought we were talking better, but he communicates nothing w/ me. It is almost like he wants me to act like the person in I was in the past so that he can justify what he is doing. I want to go back to being a big B...., but I know I shouldn't. I want to be selfish, but I know I can't. I just think I am making it too easy for him although I made the mistake of telling him that and he said that it has been real easy sleeping in the office and his car. I wanted to say you chose to leave but I didn't.
You're spending way too much time waiting for your H to do something, and your entire life is being spent doing stuff with your D's. Not healthy at all. Get out of the house with some friends, go see a movie, whatever it is that you do to relax. You're not going to get a positive reaction out of him at all for a while, so don't even try.
Did your C really ask you to ask him how things were going? That just seems rather crazy to me.
Originally Posted By: lizzy
Today H is picking up D from skating as I have a work commitment. I am not making any arrangements for dinner. H will have to take care of that however he chooses. I am also letting H put the Ds to bed, get them up in the morning, get them ready and take them to school. He needs to walk a few hundred miles in my shoes.
I would agree that he needs to pick up some slack when it comes to your D's - Certainly having a more formal arrangement would go some ways to helping that. You seem to be more stressed by the unpredictability and lack of structure you are facing than anything else. You don't know if H is coming or going from one day to the next.
Yes my C did really tell me to lay things out for H and try to get feedback. Basically she felt I had nothing to loose. I wish now I wouldn't have done it but it is too late and what's done is done.
You are right, I totally need to GAL. Unfortunately, all my friends are happily married w/ children. It is hard too find someone to spend time with.
You are also right that I spend too much time taking care of Ds. I have done it for 15 years w/ no break. H was in Grad school when first D was born and Post-doctural fellowship when second was born. I have pretty much done everything from the beginning. It is time for him to pick up some slack.
I told H last night to bring a schedule today. I won't hold my breath, that would take thought and commitment.
